Return to Tanzania (again!) and the Malinga saga

Well, I know many of you are wondering what is happening in our adoption process of Malinga. Roman and I returned to Tanzania on August 20th for a much needed vacation (time alone) and for the sole purpose of gaining custodoy of Malinga; our soon to be adopted son. We had 12 days to finish the job!

Roman and I arrived and met with our representative from social welfare, Miss Moyo, who is the person responsible for putting our file together. She is the one who repeatedly requested copies of our resident permits, passports, home study etc. She communicates this with the assistant commissioner, Mr. Charwe, who will ultimately grant us custody when he decides that we are both fit to be foster parents (required for 3 months before we can apply to adopt) , AND, that Malinga is fit for us (that he is indeed an orphan), AND, most importantly that we have waited as long as possible and been tortured by an extremely inefficient system that works at the speed of a dead snail and has no real deep down respect for vulnerable children and the importance of them finding families (although they pay a lot of lip service to the fact that they do and that they are following the rules to PROTECT the children.

Miss Moyo told us on arrival that she had not yet received the police report and the letter from Malinga's social worker to confirm his history of abandonment and that he is an orphan. I gave $30 (1 weeks salary) to Mama Sharifa, Malinga's social worker to 'assist' her in obtaining the police report on Malinga in July when I was here. She guaranteed me that she had requested it before I left Tanzania. When Roman and I went to the Mangomeni Police Station, which is not in the best part of Dar es Salaam either we (with the help of Brooke's (our lawyer) assistant Janet),ultimately talked to the right person.

She was a lady named Ericeezia, who prepares the reports and gets them signed by her boss, the chief. She had received the request for a report on an abandoned child named Malinga Ranadhani from Mama Sharifa, but, was provided with no age of the child, date of abandonment or a reference number. This made it impossible for Ericeezia to locate any file on the child to write the report and guarantee that the police had exhausted the search for his family and that the case was closed. They never search although they say they do... but after 3 years, they are confident in closing the case. The orphanage directors did go to where he said he was from and searched for relatives using photographs with the help of a local 'investigator' just after Malinga was abandoned in the Dar bus station. No one admitted to knowing the child.
So, here we are, in a torrential downpour in a dirty and loud police station in Africa, with arrested men and women sitting against a wall with their feet and hands tied together, trying to get a report on this orphan kid that was lft like a stray dog in one of the most dangerous places in town when he was 4 or 5.

So we went back to the social welfare office where he was originally brought to by the police who had no way of caring for a 4-5 year old, and we begged a woman named Mama Bishunga to help us find his social welfare file so that we could give it to Ericeezia to find his police file. ok, you need to see the state of the social welfare office and the police station.........I was feeling quite hopeless that this child would have no report to be found. The files were piled against walls, they looked like they had been wet in a flood (and probably had during the heavy rains) and they looked completely like no filing system existed. Malinga could be in limbo forever (along with us). Mama Bishunga's assistant told us to come back tomorrow (famous last words) because she was going home early to prepare for her brother's wedding. Mama Sharifa, who was supposed to be doing all this stuff, was no where to be found. Ultimately we heard that her son had died, which is horrible but made our situation worse as well.
Mama Bishunga said it would take her a few days to find the file. We begged and asked if we could 'check back' tomorrow. She nodded 'yes', probably just to get us out of her office!
I called Brooke and explained the situation and she had the great idea of looking through the orphanage files to find the exact date he was brought to them, that would be close to the date of abandonment and might shed light on Mama Bishunga's search for his file.
It worked!! I returned later that day and gave the letter to Mama Bishunga. She said, with a glimmer of kindness in her eye (as she saw my desperation) 'I will try for you Mama, come back tomorrow morning'. The next day, we got a call from Janet, who had called Mama Bishunga, who had found Malinga's file and taken it at Janet's request, across the street to Ericeezia at the police station!!! It was Friday and the weekend was on its way which meant we probably would have no report until Monday, so Roman and I hopped a flight to Moshi to visit Mama Agnes and the Women's centre, who are like a family to us now.

We returned to Dar on the 7:30 am Monday flight and went straight to the Police Station after picking up Janet. Ericeezia was there and had found his file but had not written the report yet. She told us we could wait. So we did...for almost 2 hours. When it was completed she called us inside and she slowly folded it and stapled it and mumbled something in Swahili about payment for her work. Janet pretended she didn't hear her but she repeated it in a louder voice. Janet asked me if I had any money and I handed over 5,000 shillings, or 5 bucks!!.

We then took the report to Mama Bishunga across the street and, after some convincing, she wrote a letter, by hand, to the Commissioner for social welfare to support the police report and claim that she was satisfied that as on eof the memebrs of the social welfare office responsible for him, to the best of her knowledge, Malinga was an orphan.

I hand delivered the letter to Miss Moyo that afternoon, with Roman at my side. We explained to Miss Moyo that we were on a timeline and that we were going to Canada on Sunday night for a 'visit' (although we have fulfilled our residency requirements for foster care and adoption, we didn't want to raise any suspicions in anyone's heads..they make up their own rules sometimes and might decide that they don't want any Mzungus taking orphan African kids to Canada...ie. I am not Angelina!). Miss Moyo looked us in the eyes and said, this should be fine. I will prepare it for the commissioner with a letter and you can come on Wednesday to get your approval for custody.

So, we spent Tuesday with Malinga and his buddy Issakwissa at the hotel and I returned on Wednesday at 2pm as suggested. Roman stayed at the hotel with the boys. I immediately knew there was a problem when I arrived. Her desk was cleaned off and almost no one was around. I asked the lady who sits across from her and she said she was 'on safari(journey)" and that I should return on Monday. Well, I guess a year and a half of frustration just hit me at that moment. I started to cry and wandered out to the office in the hallway where the main secretary sits. I knew we were not getting custody this week and we had flights to return home (again) on Sunday. Out of desperation I thought, if Moyo isn't going to help me, I am going to the top. I asked to see the commissioner (Mr. Charwe). He was in a meeting but the secretary actually said I could wait. So I did..for over an hour. It was getting near time for 'Chai' (tea) which here in TZ is about 3pm. I saw the people leave his office and walked in and introduced myself. I poured out my story between tears and sobs and after about 15 minutes he said "Mama, why are you so upset, that is just the way things are, we cannot always change them, it is God's will, you need to be patient' . I told him I had been patient and that I was upset that Miss Moyo told me to return and then left with no message (she knows how to reach us) or the letter that we needed. He said he had not seen a police report or signed a letter about a boy named Malinga and that we should come back tomorrow (Thursday). I begged a little bit more, until I knew I had exhausted my options. His helper offered me tea and he actually said'are you ok now Mama, should we find someone to take you home?"...Boy, I must have been pretty pathetic.
The next day I returned with Roman at my side. Brooke held out no hope that he would have found the report or prepared the letter (after years of experience with this office). He acknowledged us as we arrived but was in a meeting. We waited for about 45 minutes and then he invited us in. I gave him a copy of our foster parent approval letter with our reference number so his secretary could try to track the letter (if Moyo actually prepared it!). After 30 minutes she returned with no letter and Mr. Charwe informed us he was away on Friday, along with Miss Moyo, and that we should return Monday. So we left his office totally dejected and desperate. I called Swiss Air and asked if they could switch one of our flights. We had called that morning and at that time there was only business class seats available on any flights for the rest of the week and I was informed all flights are fully booked leaving tanzania until Septemebr 12th.

This Thursday afternoon, in my moment of desperation, I got lucky because someone must have cancelled and there was one seat available in economy for Friday night (September 5th). We called Brooke to ask who should stay behind, Roman or I, she immediately said it had to be me as they really only respond to the Mama's..men are just not that involved here.So, I called Swiss and for $182 I moved my flight. I also immediately contacted my boss at work to let him know of the situation. He was just working on the September schedule so the timing was ok.

Roman and I were moping around the hotel room and decided that since nothing was going to happen until Monday (provided I make some headway!) then we should get away from the city and have some time alone at the beach. We didn't have the energy to get on a plane or a ferry to go to Zanzibar...we were just feeling emotionally drained. We didn't think we would be good company for Malinga either. So we went to see 'Ian' our travel agent when in Dar and asked him to recommend a place to go that wasn' t expensive. He called a place called "Lazy Lagoon Resort' that is an hour south of Dar on a small island just off the coast. It is a small resort with 12 'banda's or huts with bathrooms that are on a 9km island that is a nature reserve. They provide a set menu of meals and have sea kayaks and snorkelling. The price was good so off we went after a few phone calls. We checked out of the hotel and called our taxi driver. Ian called the resort to have the boat pick us up at the marina. Despite our disappointment about the whole week, we had a wonderful and romantic time. The beach was like icing sugar and the water was beautiful. The food phenomenal and we totally relaxed (see pictures).

We returned to Dar today and I had a teary goodbye to Roman. I hate staying behind by myself but I plan to do work that I brought and spend time at the orphanage with Malinga and the other kids. This is an improtant time for them too. They are anticipating his leaving and this is hard for them. The kids are also returning to school this week but Malinga will stay home and be tutored full time by a volunteer who is currently at the orphanage. He is not reading well at all and will definitely struggle in second grade. We want him to have that one on one time with someone and she is experienced and comfortable. Her name is Elizabeth and her husband is an American medical student who has a public health degree and is here ona research project for a year. She will fill her days with volunteer work. She is lovely and kind. I think she is originally from Alabama.

I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself and shouldn't. I am almost at the end of what has been a frustrating process..bu tit willpass. I have already had so many amazing experiences with Malinga and the orphans from Boona Baana. I am sorry to be missing the first day of school for Hannah and Jack who are anxiously awaiting Malinga's arrival. It has been hard for them too. As my friend Caroline says...anything worth having is worth waiting for.

So here I sit, alone in the hotel room...waiting for tomorrow when I go to find Miss Moyo. I will be nice even though I am angry at her for messing up our week. I will request that she send the report and letter immediately to Mr Charwe and that he is waiting for it. I will be sure to tell her that I asked her boss for something that she was supposed to have provided to him and didn't...Brooke said that should be my M.O!! I will let you all know tomorrow night how it went...please pray for us.

On a lighter note, one of the pictures I have uploaded is Malinga and Issakwissa in the hotel seeing a microwave for the first time. We made 3 bags of microwave popcorn in a row!! They had NEVER seen anything like it. See, these are the kinds of things I need to keep track of so that when Malinga is a 16 year old Canadian boy, I can remind him of all the cute things he said an did as he learned about life outside the orphanage.