Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Images of Malinga's first 6 weeks

These pictures are of:
Malinga as superMalinga
Doing his chores and his first night in his new bedroom!


Malinga is almost Canadian





Well, it has been a busy and exhausting and beautiful 6 weeks since Malinga's long awaited arrival. He is many things....motivated, engaging, ACTIVE, comedic and loveable. That is not to say that we have not had our challenges!! Many of the issues are around situations that he finds stressful (that we may not have perceived as such). For example, he was being bullied at school by a few older boys for a few days and this manifested at home as him having difficulty getting to sleep (attention seeking as well) and at times pushing Roman and I almost to the brink (who knew a 7 year old orphan could do this??) Malinga knows how to push our buttons...apparently many foster children in his situation do.
The next morning he got ready for school and then went upstairs and got back into bed and pulled the covers over his head. I had to drag him out and finally I coaxed out of him what the issue was. He said 5 boys were pushing him around at school during recess and they were calling him stinky, dirty, stupid boy. I promised him that we would talk to Madame Dodd, his fabulous second grade teacher. I was able to get him to go to schoool and he reluctantly went into the classroom with Roman at his side. Madame Dodd was extrmely supportive and said that she would get to the bottom of it. The culprits were quickly identified and she reassured Malinga that it would not happen again. He knows to tell an adult right away if it does. He had a bounce in his step today...he can be very black and white about these types of things. He has lots of 'baggage' but is able to move on quickly from situations that may remind him of bad memories or are just plain stressful in their own right. He is LOVED by his class. Madame Dodd says that the girls hover over him to make sure he understands everything. He has akindred spirit in a little girl who immigrated from Russia last year and spoke no English at all. Malinga's says she is 'bossy' but she is still his friend!

One big milestone is that he is learning how to cuddle and hug and give kisses. We are a cuddly family and this was quite foreign to him. The little boy who didn't know how to hold hands 6 months ago is now asking for 'mom' to lie with him in bed. He snuggled his head right into my breasts the other night (after a particularly difficult day where he was a bit out of sorts-again related to the bullying)...it is moments like that that I think of whenever he is pushing me to the edge with a behavioral issue. I have to alternate with different kids on most nights though because Jack and Hannah do feel jealous of any attention he gets from Roman and I that is directed at him in that personal way. We try our best to spread the love around....it takes practice with three!!

Roman and I are also realizing how we coddle and baby our other two, Jack and Hannah. Malinga's independence has really brought this out as an issue. We are finding ways to push everyone to be more independent in a constructive way...three is a lot more work!!

Malinga has taken a real liking to ice hockey. he is facinated by skates and cannot wait to try a pair on. He is practically a 'trick' rider now on his bike now too. He can jump up with his feet on the seat while riding (helmet of course!)....I have to close my eyes.

On a super cute note, he LOVED Halloween. He went as red Power Ranger to school and went as Superman (with a blow -up muscle custume) on Halloween night.

He just could not believe that you go up to people's houses and they throw a piece of candy in your bag!! He caught on pretty quickly and counted his candies twice when he got home...126 in total. He has been good at rationing them too. He eats 1 or 2 each day. He shares too.

Two other exciting things have also happened in the last 6 weeks. He moved into his own room. We decorated it in an African safari style with a giraffe bed cover and a cheetah painting on the wall and wooden animal carvings. I even found a goat skin mat for the floor. He loved it when he came home from school and Roman and I had finished setting it up. He kept saying 'cool' I love it.
He also says 'what the heck?' and 'Oh my God!"....not sure where he heard those???? On his first night in his new bed, when he suddenly realized he would be sleeping alone, he said 'No, I can't! It's too scary". I asked him why it was scary and he went on to describe what a scary dream is like "what if the scary man comes to take me when I close my eyes?". Roman and I reassured him that we would leave a light on in thd hall and all the bedroom doors open. He still refused and then I offered him $5 to TRY. He immediately said 'ok'. He responds very well to positive reinforcement (ie. money! Allowance etc). He slept through the night without a sound and came into our room in the morning and said' Mom, Dad, I did it....give me my money please!!"...works every time. Roman and I reminisced about how much cheaper Malinga's new bed transtiton was compared to Jack's when he was 3 and still sleeping in our bed....we had to bribe Jack with a 'big boy bike' to get him out of our bed!!

On the allowance end of things, he loves to earn it and save it. His job is to vacuum the mudroom where everyone takes off their dirty boots and shoes.

He bought a remote controlled car this Saturday and paid the lady at Toys R Us himself. He has had issues sharing it with Hannah and Jack which has caused some battles. It may be that it is the first really great toy that he has ever owned (new too). I am not sure really but he does LOVE it. The sound is driving us crazy so we conveniently let the batteries run down and surprisingly can't get any more until Saturday.

That is all for now......I am trying to keep track of all of the amazing things (and challenges) that are happening on a day to day basis....